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MaestroRage
I consider this account an important chapter in my life

Selcuk Bor @MaestroRage

Age 36, Male

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Toronto

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My mentality and how it will one day destroy me.

Posted by MaestroRage - May 1st, 2008


There are many artists recently, on both Newgrounds and off that have been leaving behind their sanctuaries to brave the cold winds of the world, armed with nothing but their music, and the desire to make it. I watch them and listen as they tell me time and time again.

"I just want to be able to do this my whole life... if I can do that, I can die happy".

And I sit back, and I wish them the best. I really do, I wish and I pray with all my heart that they reach that end goal.

It is a shame, it is a truth my friends, music is an art.

And art, is a luxury.

I see them take their songs off Newgrounds, I see them erase their tracks from others, because the time to grow up is here. The time to make friends and foes alike is upon them. The spine chilling first steps are being taken.

Not me. And they tell me I will one day have to. One day I will be forced to stop sharing my songs with everybody, that I will be lost forever in this place, a tapestry to a tiny corner of the internet.

And you know what? I agree.

I agree, and I don't care. I've been making music for 3 years now, and many still consider me a greenhorn to the industry. Fine, but I am still devoted to producing for free. I am still striving to show people a new world, a new hope, a new idea, ANYTHING that makes them stop and enjoy themselves. A story, thats all I want to do, tell and read stories of worlds that will never be.

How do I survive then? How will Chuck continue to exist once the time beckons? I have no real idea. I will keep doing what i'm doing, and hopefully my site, like Newgrounds, will be able to sustain the dreams woven into it. In time, it's possible. I have no intention of hiding any of my work, that is the bottom line. The ears of those who want to listen, will be given the opportunity to do so. Period.

Does that make me a failure? A doomed artist to wither and vanish?

Well, I figure, how poetic is that? Become part of the worlds and stories that will one day disappear with me.

So stick around my friends, only time will let me tell you how this story ends ;D


Comments

Great Words my friend!

But take heed...

No matter what happens, no matter how many 0-bombs, no matter how many crap reviews, no matter how much time passes, however long you shall make music for, no matter the opinions of some, no matter how many people call you a failure...

The dream will live on!

A dream that has been around scince before FL Studio, Before Newgrounds, Before me and Before you!

It is a dream that is still being woven today. Every time someone submits to the Audo Portal, one more stich is added. Every time someone plays a song, it gets stronger.

It is the dream of Making Music For the Love of Making Music.

And it shall live on FOREVER in the hearts of those who created it.
Us artists.

And so people may try to tell you discouraging things, and try to stop you making music, and to kill you carrear!

But a dream can NEVER die! And as long as I am making music, I shall strive to show the world that music is not about money. It is about enjoying themusic and making it for fun and for FREE!

Whooo!

...Hows that for poetic? Not quite as good as yours, but still pretty good I think!

XD

Quite right my good sir, a dream can never die, but it can be broken. There is what scares so many, to have a dream, but have it broken.

It's only fact that artists need to eat too. It's not possible under normal circumstances to make for the joy of making forever, unless you wish to live a life of poverty. Few extreme artists take this route, many of which I think is safe to call insane.

Even when we go away, Newgrounds will have new champions of music, which is why I find it so poetic that despite our best efforts, at the end of the day we are as tangible as the songs we make. Once we have said our peace, there is no traces of us left.

Keep up the good fight!

Well, it certainly depends on your attitude. You could compare your musical skills with a grandma who's known for her great cookskills in a small town so I wouldn't consider yourself a greenhorn. But you're right, I've seen quite a lot of overconscientious composers who had their head full of "OMG I wanna work at teh Zimmerz!". I'm usually trying to tell them to start a bit more modest but that doesn't do anything at all since these people have a dream.

There was this one man (42 years of age) with the same perspective, he was always some kind of inspiring example and mentor to me due to his skills as a composer. His human abilities were quite the contrary, rotten to the core, misogynic and addicted to drugs. Not quite the person you want as a mentor. Whenever I faced every dirty little detail after another, I've sworn myself more and more to not become like him. Well, he developed some amazing skill during 15 years of experience, but he never sent his stuff out into the world, now he's over 40 and didn't get anywhere in life except to drugs and alcohol...

Okay I already know how this sounds, this isn't supposed to set a bad example for your attitude since I rather consider yourself to be a smart guy. This should rather set an example to composers who put all eggs into one basket. Things can go wrong, regardless of overhyped success stories. Just a little note that people should take along the way.

MaestroEmoSwings- Music For Free. Forever.

Totally with you on that one. :D

no more moods eh? I'm just a depressed idiot ALL the time now.

WAI TO GO SOLUS, U R MAH BESTEREST FRIENDZOR!

Martyrs still like to eat.

it's true, they do :/

I used to think that a career in music was the way for me. I was very wrong. To make money from music is a complicated business. Should I make the music I'd like to make, or should I make the music that others want me to make? If you use music to make money and become famous, and your initiative to make music is the money, that, to me, is wrong. Music is an art form in which the definition of popularity is selling yourself out to the masses. I feel that a lot of bands have done it. But to make money off music, to use to make more music, driven by music, not money, or even in cases such as with bands like U2, who are politically motivated, it's about personal growth, and experience, rather than personal wealth and greed. I'm proud to say that the only person I make music for is myself. Granted, I do love the feeling of sharing my own personal journey with the world. That's why a lot of my poorer tracks are still on newgrounds, I'm not ashamed of the mistakes I've made, as they're a stepping stone, or a learning curve that I've been through, and I've shared it with anyone who would care to listen. I'm happy with my simple life, and my own music, and as long as I can still write and listen to my own music, what more could I want? If I can please myself with simple accomplishments, then I'll never be disappointed.

Can you start writing my blog posts for me :')?

Could not agree more.

I thought that your blog was fine as it is.

Maybe I could write blogs for people like this: <a href="http://domesticterrorist.newgrounds.com/news/post/117824">http://domesticterrorist.newgrounds.c om/news/post/117824</a>

So, you agree with me, I agree with you. And Quarl wants to do his own thing, but I agree with that too, even though I don't choose that path myself.
I admire your storytelling for free, and that's the direction I'm working towards myself.
Maybe it's your nationality that makes you so easy to agree with. What's not to love about Canadians, and the fact that their bottom and top jaws are not attached. =P

you should totally start offering your services for that guy >:/

blasphemy.

Us Canadians are easy to agree with, we're kinda like putty. Poke us and we slump towards any direction you want eh ;D?!

Then you see and know where my mentality lies. I wish I could tell you how well off people like us end up D:

you make great audio!

why thank you! Glad you enjoyed em!

The world wishes to hear, and to wish to spread your wings and let the world hear what you wish to tell is something you've always lived by isn't it? You say you want to tell people stories of worlds that will never be. The captivated mind of freedom and peace amongst us all. A land without power, hate, or war. Although it will never be so you can still let people have their time of peace.

Your mentality will never destroy you, believe it or not it makes you stronger. Music is an art and art is a luxury, you are right in saying this, but if you haven't noticed keeping a luxury takes time and effort, and the only way to make a luxury better is to build on it... and as long as you stay the way you are and never change then your luxury shall stay afloat.

When you leave Newgrounds and I know you will permanently leave Newgrounds one day, and when your website becomes successful, don't forget those who have helped you in the past... don't forget us. And if you're ever in a slump we're always here to help you.

Maestro... you have shared your gift with the good people of Newgrounds and now you must share your gift with the rest of the world, do not let the rest of us hold you back.

Sincerely,
The-Great-One

-Robert

Thank you TGO, but I believe you have misunderstood me. My mentality is to remain here, forever, telling my stories and posting here as a member, sharing free material with as many people as possible. My website will help spread the music to the world as well, but ideally I don't want to sell anything I have. So this mentality will destroy me, for how well off can I be if I refuse to sell my art?

The day I leave newgrounds Robert, is the day I have left music behind forever, and that day I hope never arrives.

~ Selcuk

[randomcrap] are u chuck norris? [/randomcrap]

GO FOR IT DUDE U CAN DO IT!

I am going for it, RIGHT HERE :D1!!!!

Never give up in reaching your dream sir, I know you can do it.....I know everyone have their entrances and exits in life but before we go, let's contribute something that we can gladly call as our 'Masterpiece' I know you can do it!

Never surrender to the plays of life, everyone have their low and high times but remember that it teaches us to be more matured and prepared for the future to come, as me, I will keep listening to your music and possibly, (If can) to write a story to each song that you posted here on NG.

As your site, keep it filled with your songs, for me, you're not a greenhorn, you're a true artist, which makes arts not for profit but as a hobby, your interest, to make everybody happy, I'm glad I've found a skilled musician like you, really....

You're the kindest yet skillful musician I've ever meet.....keep up, we will always be behind your back......supporting your noble objective....

Regards, Sandpenguin.

I do enjoy and appreciate each story and review you write sandpenguin. I'm sorry I havn't responded to them, but I DO read them, each and every one. Thank you for them.

As for reaching for my dreams, my dreams are right here, with Newgrounds, and the site I am a part of. Whether that is enough or not, I guess we'll see in time.

Thank you for your kind words, I hope I can continue making songs you enjoy :D!

But when it comes right down to it, though, you missed the most important part.

WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR CTSG PART >:(

YOUR FREAKING RIGHT, EVERYTHING I'VE DONE TILL NOW, IS WASTED, CURSE ME, I'M ON IT NAO!

No way dude. I definitely see myself paying good money for your services when I became a millionaire game developer.

;-)

Yeah, selling music is tough. That's why I'm gonna just make sound effects and whatnot, and make musics on the side. That way I can get paid to do what I love and still have motivation to do what I love for free. :D

Nevertheless, I will always keep the songs to heart- they're rather unique on the web.

Your songs are free and that makes YOU as a musician free.
Thanks for the lovely and inspiring words!

(A leech's request)
I do wish you could make some more loops that are small in filesize. You are great at making epic songs, but you are also great at making short, epic and eternal loops.

P.S.
You are famous and loved here on Newgrounds. And this community is huge! And that means the love is huge! If you leave and go off searching for love from strangers elsewhere, you might realise that what you were looking for is right here... what the hell am I saying? You already know this!
Okay, that's all from me, you rule!

-SeethingSwarm
(SecretSecretary)